She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
