He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
