Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
