Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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