I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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