Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
