I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
