Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize