once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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