I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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