I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
