your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
