just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
