Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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