I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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