i already hear my dad disowning me
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
