His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
