i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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