no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
