Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Come see our sink grown plant.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My dad is sitting where you rode me
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
