was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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