Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
