remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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