I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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