I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
