yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Someone came in the potted fern
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
