So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
