what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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