I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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