Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
