Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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