like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You made out with two different species that night
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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