I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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