id be glad to
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
