His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Is Oprah even human
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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