I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
