nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
