Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
