Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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