Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
