she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
