i need an iv and a liver transplant
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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