They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
