I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she peed on how many people?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
