I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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