My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
