just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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