yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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