Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
