So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
