Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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