so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
