you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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