We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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