We're facebook friends in real life
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
