those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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