after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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