the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
