Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize