She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I need a hoe opinion
go on
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
