Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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