I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
