It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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