So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
