The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
