i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
