69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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